Asking for Help Like a Native Speaker

🗣️ Need to ask for help in English but tired of basic phrases? You know there's more than just "Can you help me?" - but what do native speakers actually say? In this episode, we'll explore 4 natural expressions that will help you ask for assistance with confidence, whether you're at work, school, or just going about your day. Plus, learn exactly how to pronounce them with stress patterns that sound natural!

🎯 What you'll learn:

• 4 native-level expressions for asking for help
• When to use each expression (casual vs. formal)
• Pronunciation tips and stress patterns
• Common mistakes to avoid
• Practice strategies

Episode Transcript

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Transcript

Hello, hello! Welcome to English Extras! I’m Jean, your guide to making your English sound natural and authentic.

This podcast is all about helping intermediate and advanced learners move beyond textbook phrases so you can express yourself with confidence.

If you want to follow along with today’s episode, I put a link to the transcript in the description for you. It’s full of key vocabulary, definitions, example sentences, as well as additional resources to help you take your learning to the next level.

Ready? Let’s get started!

Today we're talking about something we all need to do: ask for help. Now, you probably already know 'Can you help me?' but let's be honest–that's just scratching the surface. By the end of this episode, you'll have four natural, native-speaker expressions that will help you ask for help with confidence, whether you're at work, school, or just going about your day.

Let’s start with expression number one: Would you mind giving me a hand?

This expression is great when you’re asking for help with a physical task, like moving a couch. But you can also use this to ask for help with quick tasks, like giving feedback for a presentation, or if you’re asking for advice.

This is a good general sentence to use. You can use it with colleagues, friends, or even strangers, if you add “excuse me” first.

Let’s break down this phrase, and then I’ll talk about some variations of it and which are more or less casual.

“Would you mind” is a way to start making a polite request in general. Your specific request comes after this phrase. For example, “Would you mind reading this for me?” or “Would you mind repeating that?”

Maybe you noticed that the phrase “would you mind” is followed by a verb that ends with -ing. “Would you mind reading this for me?” “Would you mind repeating that?” Keep that in mind.

So we have the polite part–would you mind–now let’s make our actual request. The request is “giving me a hand”. 

To give someone a hand is an idiom we use that means To help someone. If you simply said, “Give me a hand,” that means “Help me” but it’s more casual. If you say “Help me,” it sounds very urgent and desperate. But “give me a hand” is like–it’s no big deal, I’m just asking for a small amount of help.

So putting it all together, we have “Would you mind giving me a hand?” Remember we’re using an -ing verb form here: giving. Not the infinitive “to give” and not the future tense “will give.” The -ing form: giving.

Also, let’s listen to the stress pattern, or where there is more emphasis. Would you mind giving me a hand? “Mind” and “hand” receive the most emphasis. So when you say this, you don’t have to make it super emphasized, like, “Would you MIND giving me a HAND?” No. Rather, think of it like a little hop. You hop to “mind” and then you hop to “hand.” “Would you mind giving me a hand?” Hop, hop.

You can make this expression more casual by dropping the “would you” part. So if you’re talking to a friend or family member, and you need just a little help, you can say, “Mind giving me a hand?” In this case, the emphasis changes to the very last word: hand. So it’s one big hop: “Mind giving me a hand?”

When you use this expression, you’ll probably hear one of a variety of responses. You might hear, “Sure!” or “No problem” or “Of course” or, if the person is already doing something, they might say, “Let me finish this first.” Or a combination of these.

Now let’s say that you are working on something: maybe at work or at school, and it’s a struggle. It’s challenging, difficult, and you don’t know how to continue it well. So you need help. What do you say to your colleague or your teacher?

You can say: I’m kind of stuck on…

Let’s break this down. 

To be stuck on something means you can’t move. It can be physical, like a car stuck in mud can’t move. Or it can be figurative, like a math question you can’t solve alone. You can’t move forward. You’re stuck.

So if you’re working on something and you realize you can’t move forward, you’re stuck, and you need help.

I added the phrase “kind of” here because native speakers often use it to soften their words. In general, it can be a better phrase than “I don’t understand” or “I have a problem” because using “stuck” suggests you’re trying to solve the problem, but you just can’t get to the solution by yourself.

Remember with the word “of,” it often shortens to an “a” sound. So “kind of” often sounds like “kinda.”

Also, let’s consider the stress pattern. We’re going to keep thinking about hopping, like we did with “Would you mind giving me a hand?” but this time we’re hopping from “kind” to “stuck.” So it sounds like this: “I’m kind of stuck on…” Even shortening “kind of” to “kinda,” this stress pattern is the same: “I’m kinda stuck on…”

So if you’re going to use this expression to ask for help, I would recommend following it with a phrase like, “I’m not sure if…” or “I tried to…” or “I thought [this] but…”

Let’s say you want to use this expression in an English class. Maybe you found an expression from a TV series and you tried to learn it yourself by using a dictionary or ChatGPT but it still isn’t clear. You can say, “I’m kinda stuck on this phrase from Friends. I’m not sure if it means this or if it means something else. I tried looking it up online but couldn’t figure it out.”

If you have a good teacher, then the response will probably be something like, “Sure, let’s figure this out together!” 

Our next expression is more formal but still very useful. This expression is good for strangers or maybe people higher than you at work. 

This expression is: I was wondering if you could…?

This is a great example of how a lot of native speakers choose to be less direct when asking for help. 

Let’s break down the structure. 

First, we have “I was wondering.” The verb tense is specific here: I was wondering. You can also say I wonder as well, but I think I was wondering is more common. I could be wrong, though, so take it with a grain of salt. 

Then we have “if you could.” This is a very polite way to start a request. It’s very similar to “Would you mind,” but even more formal, I think. 

So, combined, we have “I was wondering if you could…” 

Note the stress pattern: I was wondering if you could. Do you also hear my pitch? The pitch is generally higher, which is a common way to show uncertainty or deference or respect in English. Listen again: I was wondering if you could…

Now, what comes after this is your request, typically starting with a verb. For example: I was wondering if you could take a look at… I was wondering if you could show me how to… I was wondering if you could help me understand… I was wondering if you could explain…

This is great for professional settings or times when you want to be more respectful or polite. 

There are some variations to this. Instead of “I was wondering if you could,” you could say “I was hoping you could.” Or, if you want to make a very polite suggestion, you could say, “I was thinking maybe you could…”

Either way, remember that past continuous tense: was + an -ing verb. 

Final expression: Could you walk me through…?

This one is also great for professional settings, but it can be great in general if you want or need a step-by-step explanation. It’s really useful, because it tells the other person how to help you: not general, but rather one step at a time. 

So let’s break down the phrase. First, we have “Could you,” which is a nice and polite structure we use when making a request. Then, “walk me through.” This is metaphorical, not literal. We aren’t actually walking anywhere through anything. But imagine you’re walking. You put one foot in front of the other to walk forward. So if you going first one step, then another, that’s what it means to walk someone through something. 

Let’s take a look at the stress pattern: the stress builds up and lands right on that main verb. Let’s listen: Could you walk me through…

There’s also something that happens with the pronunciation here, between the “could” and “you.” Did you catch it? Listen closely: could you…

Here, we see a very common pattern of connected speech. When a word ends with a /d/ sound and the next word starts with a /j/ sound, it often turns into a /ʤ/ sound. Listen again: could you…

So, altogether, it sounds like: could you walk me through…

This expression also shows the other person that you’re interested in a full understanding of something, not just a quick and easy version. So it’s great if you want to learn new methods, understand complex processes, or even get directions. Either way, this expression says you’re here to learn. 

Similarly, you could say: Could you show me how to… Could you run me through… Could you guide me through… 

Lastly, you might be thinking, “Okay, but how do I practice all this?” 

Excellent question. First, make sure your mouth is comfortable saying each expression. Practice each expression over and over until it just rolls off the tongue. 

Then, start adding your own endings to each expression. Say the expression, then experiment with finishing it in different ways. Check your sentences with a translator or ChatGPT or ask for feedback from a trusted person. 

Imagine what situations you’re most likely to be in. If you’re going to travel soon, imagine asking for help from a flight attendant on a plane or asking for help from someone at a hotel. If you’re currently living in the US, imagine asking for help at a coffee shop, store, or library. Think about the situations you are most likely to encounter and plan for those. 

Then, when you do have the opportunity to use these phrases, use them! Don’t be afraid to try them. The more you use them in real life, the easier it will get. The first time will be scary, but the next time will be less scary. 

After you use it in real life, ask yourself: did the other person understand me? Did I get the help I needed? Did the conversation feel natural? What can I do differently next time?

Don’t forget: progress over perfection. Perfection is not the goal here. Practice and progress are. Native speakers appreciate effort. Are you putting in the effort? Good. That’s what matters. 

Thank you so much for listening today! Remember, every time you practice these expressions, you’re getting closer to more natural, confident English. Don’t forget to check out the transcripts for extra help. 

Until next time! Bye!