Babe, Bro, Buddy: Explaining Affectionate Terms

🌟 Episode Highlights

• terms of endearment in professional settings (spoiler: don’t)
• terms for American friends
• terms for American partners

Episode Transcript

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Transcript

Hello, hello! Welcome to English Extras! I’m Jean, your guide to making your English sound natural and authentic.

This podcast is all about helping intermediate and advanced learners move beyond textbook phrases so you can express yourself with confidence.

If you want to follow along with today’s episode, I put a link to the transcript in the description for you. It’s full of key vocabulary, definitions, example sentences, as well as additional resources to help you take your learning to the next level.

Ready? Let’s get started!

Today, we’re talking about terms of endearment. Term means word, and endearment means affection, which means liking or caring about someone. So, a term of endearment is a word you use to show someone you care about them. The correct terms to use depends on the situation: the terms you use with your family are probably not okay with strangers or your boss.

So, in this episode, I’m going to focus on three categories: service interactions, friends, and romantic relationships. I will also note which terms are appropriate for which situations and whether they are considered outdated.

Let’s start with service interactions.

What I mean by “service interactions” is people you would talk to in a restaurant or a store–because they provide a service to you–or in other professional settings, like with your colleagues, boss, or even your teachers.

Let’s say you have a job or want a job with an American company or a company where English is the common language. Generally speaking, for professional relationships–with your boss or colleagues–you shouldn’t use terms of endearment. This is also true for your teachers.

Your boss or teachers may use a term of endearment with you, but it’s probably best not to return that endearment to them. Think about the power dynamic in that situation: there are certain things your boss or teacher can say to you, but you can’t say to your boss or teacher.

Specifically in situations like restaurants, there are some differences. Let’s say you’re in a restaurant in America, specifically in Georgia, which is a state right in the middle of the American South. (Technically southeast, but we call it “the South.”) In this practice example, your server is a white, middle-aged woman. Because she’s older, because she’s a white woman, and because she’s from the South, she will likely call you hon.

Hon is short for honey, and it’s very common in situations like the one I just described. It’s a very casual way to be warm and friendly toward customers; it doesn’t have a meaning deeper than that. 

There’s a possibility she might call you sweetie. Or, if she’s Black, she might call you baby.

So, if you’re ordering at a restaurant in the South, you might hear this: “What can I get for you, hon?” or “Can I get you anything, baby?”

You probably won’t hear this from people who are younger than you. It seems to be very common for older people talking to younger people.

Hon, honey, sweetie, and baby are all terms you might hear from women in the service industry, especially in places like restaurants. I’m not sure why this is: it’s a common part of the Southern culture in America, so in places like Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, and my home state, Kentucky. These won’t be the only places you hear these terms, but the chances are higher in these states.

There are regional differences, of course. For example, I live in South Florida. When I moved here from Kentucky, I was not expecting to be called mama, but that’s part of the culture here.

So, let’s say someone calls you hon or baby in a restaurant. Does that mean you say hon or baby back to them? No. I do not recommend that at all. If you’re talking to a woman, call her ma’am; if you’re talking to a man, call him sir, especially if they are older than you. You don't have to call them anything if they are younger or around the same age.

Why is it like this? That’s just how it is.

But these rules are different if you’re talking to your friends. The rules are relaxed, more flexible, and less strict. 

Let’s say you make some American friends. What can you call them?

If you’re a man and talking to an American friend who is also a man, you can comfortably use bro or dude. For example, you want to have lunch with a male friend. You can say, “Dude, wanna grab lunch tomorrow?” or “Wanna grab lunch tomorrow, bro?”

I think dude is more casual, and bro is for closer friendships. But that’s just my opinion.

If you’re a woman and you’re talking to an American friend who is also a woman, and you’re close friends, I recommend trying fam. For example, if you do your close friend a favor and she says, “Oh my gosh, thank you, you’re the best,” you can answer, “Anything for you, fam.”

In my close friend group, which is mostly women, we simply use the term friend. For example, texting each other with, “Hey friend! Wanna chat tomorrow?”

Because I am from Kentucky, I call all my friends–men and women–darlin’ which is short for darling, but removing or dropping the final g sound is a very Southern thing to do.

Between men and women, dude is acceptable. Even though dude technically means a man, women use it with other women, and men can use it with women. Remember, it is very casual, so use it in a very casual situation.

But what about children? Are there different words to use with children?

Yes, there are. It depends on how well you know the child. If you know the child well, and he’s a young boy, you can use buddy. Pal is also an option, but I don’t really recommend that one, to be honest. It’s old-fashioned.

If you know the child well and the child is a young girl, you can use honey or sweetie.

So what about romantic relationships? If you get an American boyfriend or girlfriend, what do you call them?

Probably the most common term of endearment among couples is babe or baby. These are casual and affectionate, and you’re not really going to hear them outside of romantic contexts–except baby, which you might hear from some older women. Babe seems pretty solidly in the romantic category most of the time.

You might also use honey. In my opinion, this is especially common with married couples, especially if they’re a little older, but it depends. 

At the end of the day, the terms of endearment you use with your romantic partner will depend on what your partner prefers to be called. For example, my husband and I don’t call each other baby. We don’t like it. But my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law call each other my love, for example.

So, if you start a relationship with an American man or woman, just ask what they prefer to be called. Everyone has a preference.

I know terms of endearment in some other languages, like mi amor in Spanish and mon cœur in French, but I don’t really know many others, so let me know in the comments what some common terms of endearment are in your native language.

As always, thanks for listening, and don’t forget to check out the transcript in the description to help you make the most of this episode!

Until next time! Bye!