Why Do We Compare to Native Speakers (and should we?)

🌟 Episode Highlights

• Your goal should be to understand native speakers and be understood by them, not to become exactly like them
• Learning a language as an adult is fundamentally different from how native speakers learned - it's "apples to oranges”
• Be kinder to yourself and don't try to erase your unique perspective

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Transcript

0:00

Hello, hello. Welcome or welcome back to another episode. I'm Jean Let's see what question we get from today's language jar. Why do we compare ourselves to native speakers? And should we? Why do we compare ourselves to native speakers and should we? This is a very interesting question. And I think that this touches on a

very critical topic: 0:39

comparison. Comparison is the thief of joy. I don't remember who said that, but That's a quote that I have repeated to myself many times over the years. Comparison is the thief of joy. It is very dangerous, I think, to our mindset to compare ourselves to others. Now, it's a little bit different when we're talking about learning a language and using a native speaker as a comparison In general, I think that there are more useful ways to compare yourself to native speakers and less less useful ways to compare yourself to native speakers First of all, I think that becoming like a native speaker should not be your goal. I think that your goal should be to be able to understand native speakers and to be understood by native speakers. But to try to become exactly like a native speaker, it's not necessary. And I think that goal, that expectation creates so many more struggles and problems for yourself I think the best goal when you are learning a language is to understand and be understood. because usually people learn a language in order to communicate. And if you want to communicate, you don't have to speak perfectly and you don't have to understand perfectly. So in other words, you don't have to be exactly like a native speaker in order to communicate. So I think that we kind of set ourselves up for disappointment by trying to become like native speakers. It's setting the bar, the goal, too high, I think. However, I do think that there are useful ways to compare yourself to native speakers. So, for example, I think that using native speakersers as a reference point. Native speakers represent what is acceptable and unacceptable in the language. Native speakers show you what works and what doesn't And when I say what works, what doesn't, I'm talking about grammar. I'm talking about vocabulary So I think that observing native speakers As a model, I think, is very useful. However Something else to keep in mind. This is where I think comparing is not so useful you have to keep in mind that learning a second language or third language or learning a foreign language is an entirely different process from learning your native language. If you are an adult, so older than 18, you're never going to be a native speaker You might be able to speak like a native speaker, but you will never be a native speaker. And that's okay because like I said, you don't have to be in order to communicate. Being like a native speaker is not necessary for communicating and communicating well. You don't have to be like a native speaker. Comparing your journey to a native speaker's journey is not useful because the learning processes are fundamentally different. For example, a five year old native speaker has had thousands upon thousands of high quality immersive hours of high stakes listening in a critical development window. It is true that children learn languages differently from adults, but not necessarily better, just different versus an adult who is learning a second, third, fourth language That adult is working with an entirely different cognitive toolkit You have to think there's different motivations and vastly different circumstances So comparing your language journey to the journey of a native speaker, we have an expression for this. Apples to oranges. You're comparing apples to oranges. And comparing apples to oranges means that you are trying to compare two different things from different categories. They don't fit. You can't compare them. So comparing your journey to the journey of a native speaker, apples to oranges Now, the question is, why do we compare ourselves to native speakers? We compare ourselves to native speakers because we think that that's the ultimate goal. We think that it's a given to become exactly like a native speaker. And when something is a given, a given, it means that something is an established known fact So I think a lot of people take it as a given, take it as another known established fact that we should try to be like a native speaker and therefore compare ourselves to native speakers. But the second part of the question is, should we? And my answer is, no, we shouldn't. Because again, you do not have to be like a native speaker in order to communicate And I think expecting to be exactly like a native speaker is not useful for your journey I think the better question is not"How close can I get to being a native speaker?" but rather"How effectively can I use this language for my purposes?" So, for example Someone who is learning a language as a second language has a unique perspective on that language that is different than a native speaker's. And that's not better. That's not worse. It's just different. And it's just as valuable So my recommendation would be Be kinder to yourself. Don't expect yourself to become exactly like a native speaker. try to focus on observing what native speakers are doing so that you know what is acceptable in the language. Can you say a word like this? Can you use this grammar in this context Does it work? Will people understand me? Those, I think, are the better questions. Use native speakers as models, but don't try to become that Take the observations, take the information, and Don't try to erase or get rid of your unique perspective I have similar thoughts to accents, but that is a different question. So I won't answer that question now. I think that question is in this jar about accents But I have a similar answer about accents. I don't think that you should try to have a native speaker accent. But again, that's a different question So what are your thoughts on this? Is your goal to become exactly like a native speaker? Do you think that's the right goal? Do you think everyone should try to be exactly like native speakers Is it useful Let me know what you think. I'm very curious because this is just my perspective. So let me know what your perspective is As always, thank you so much for joining me. Until next time, Bye